How’s A Girl Supposed to Lose 10 Pounds Around Here?

My new job is not conducive to healthy eating in anyway. I’m the new Director of Communication for District 113, which incorporates Highland Park and Deerfield high schools. No more reporting you ask?? I’ll get to that in another blog entry. Today, I want to focus on the food.

Everywhere I turn, there are treats. I came into work this morning and my boss had bought me a jelly donut. Are you crazy? I thought to myself. I don’t eat jelly donuts. I look at a jelly donut and gain weight.

About an hour later, I received an office email that someone had baked banana bread and it was sitting in the kitchen.

Around 11 a.m. I decided to brave the kitchen because I had to fill up my water bottle. Not only was the banana bread staring me in the face but a group of employees had just made fresh guacamole. I laughed out loud; this must be a joke, right?

I politely declined and made a quick getaway back to my office. For lunch, a co-worker asked if I wanted to hit up Taco Bell’s drive-thru. Nothing about the drive thru at Taco Bell is on my diet plan. Thankfully, I had brought my lunch.

Around 3 p.m. I attended a letter of intent signing at one of the high schools; of course there was cake. A big cake. That was screaming eat me. I passed on that too.

By the time I got home, I wanted to throw a party. I can’t believe I survived without cheating in anyway. But to think that I have to do it again tomorrow is just depressing.

It Felt Good To Be Young Again

I always loved game day at the University of Michigan (I graduated in 2006). But last weekend, I had to love game day as a trader.

I was visiting Iowa and had no other choice but to cheer on the Buckeyes (they played Northwestern Saturday night in Iowa City). So, I slipped on my friend's t-shirt and headed to the game. In preparation, I had a massive omelet and a biscuit for lunch.

On the way, we drove past this party bus that had burst into flames on the side of the highway. I never found out if anyone got hurt.

Then, I played bags (I lost horribly) and went to the bathroom in an out-house twice, which was surprisingly painless. That was followed by an hour of dancing on top of a deck that overlooked a house party, with a DJ and all. I mingled a lot there.

We sat 3rd row in the student section, ate chicken barbecue pizza for dinner, went to a couple of bars---I did some more dancing---and crashed on a stranger's couch.

All in all, it was glorious to act young again.

My Fam is Killing Me

I'm back to juicing...at least for three days.

Some of you might remember when I tried the Master Cleanse last year. It was several days of maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne pepper. I hated it and I don't think it worked.

This is easier. Yesterday, I picked up my juices at Peeled on Sheffield in Chicago. I was given six, 16-oz containers of juice that I was supposed to drink all in one day. The price tag was a whopping $70. Yes, you read it right, $70/day for my detox cleanse. Well, at least that's supposed to be how it works. But, as you can see by the picture above, I barely made it through a third of the juice by the end of my first day, which was last night. So, lucky for me, I think the first day of juices will probably last for the entire three-day cleanse. Which is a lot more cost effective.

Last night I slept at my parents house and had to endure their dinner decision. While I sipped on juice, my brother and dad noshed on a Giordano's Pizza. If you know me, you'll also know that's my favorite. It was brutal. But I survived.

I'm on day two right now, let's see if I can make it to three!

Lesson Learned...

Have you ever gone to O'Hare thinking your flight was leaving from there and realized it was actually taking off from Midway?

I recently made that $75 mistake. Major bummer.

Thankfully, I still made my flight. Plus, was treated to a warm chocolate chip cookie while on board. Frontier Airlines is the way to go! Just remember, it only flies out of Midway.

What’s My Deal with Big Dogs?

My parents got me a Labrador when I was 9-years-old. I was supposed to get the puppy when I was 10. However, as soon as I turned eight, I asked for the pet every single night during dinner and eventually got a whole year knocked off (which was a big deal for someone who had only lived for eight).

A few days before I was supposed to pick out my puppy, my mom took me to FAO Schwartz. She had a plan. She showed me one of those massive stuffed animal dogs they used to sell; the ones with ears as big as your head and paws you could wrap yourself in. I instantly fell in love. I can still remember her conniving words at the store, “I’ll get you that stuffed animal,” she said while other wide-eyed kids walked by. “I’ll get you that stuffed animal right now, if you forget about the real puppy.”

This was a huge dilemma for me. I was 9. Do you know the type of impact life-size stuffed animals have on little girls? But I wasn’t going to fall for my mother’s trick. I wanted my Lab and I wanted her bad.

Harpo was a part of my family for 13-years and was the best thing that ever happened to my dad (I kid you not). She passed away the year after I graduated from college and we haven’t been able to consider another pet since.

Then I moved to North Carolina and met House. While working down south as a television news reporter I was constantly covering animal abuse stories and became extremely close with the director of Beaufort County Animal Control. One day she tipped me off about a raid they had made. About 60 animals were confiscated from a residence living in horrid conditions. She was calling to give me some information about the incident but also wanted to introduce me to someone.

House, was literally a house. He came up to my waste on all fours and probably weighed as much as I did. Just like that stuffed animal, I instantly fell in love. But House was never going to fit in my house. First, I didn't even live in a house, I had an apartment. Second, I worked crazy hours. Third, there’s no way I could afford the quantity of dog food that animal was going to inhale. Fourth, his poops would be massive to clean up. Fifth, do I even need a fifth after the fourth?

So, I gave House a giant hug and walked away, cursing myself the entire time.

However, I recently spotted a House look-a-like at an outdoor music concert in downtown Deerfield, IL and tried to make friends. He wasn’t as big and didn’t have as much charm but it was good to know that when I'm ready, other houses will be on the market.

Why I Love Living in Chicago

My air conditioning isn’t working, but that’s not why I love living in Chicago.

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating. I got out of my bed and pushed my sofa as close to the window air conditioning unit as I possibly could. (For those of you who don’t know, the Midwest is currently experiencing a heat wave. To make matters worse, I live in an extremely old coach house with one wall unit).

Besides being extremely noisy, I don’t think the thing was properly working. I tried to fall back to sleep for an hour but mostly just rolled from one side to the other. So, I left the sofa and got back into bed.

I woke up this morning and decided to ditch my 88-degree apartment. But where should I go? I landed on my parent’s much more lavish couch and got to work. Not only was the central air blasting, my dad took me to lunch and treated me to this delicious piece of watermelon afterwards.

That’s why I love living in Chicago again…or at least so close to my parents!

Mr. Deer and I had a talk today...

While he clearly isn't afraid of me, I politely tried to explain that he's in my parking space. After giving me a blank stare, he went back to lunch. So, I parked somewhere else.