What’s My Deal with Big Dogs?

My parents got me a Labrador when I was 9-years-old. I was supposed to get the puppy when I was 10. However, as soon as I turned eight, I asked for the pet every single night during dinner and eventually got a whole year knocked off (which was a big deal for someone who had only lived for eight).

A few days before I was supposed to pick out my puppy, my mom took me to FAO Schwartz. She had a plan. She showed me one of those massive stuffed animal dogs they used to sell; the ones with ears as big as your head and paws you could wrap yourself in. I instantly fell in love. I can still remember her conniving words at the store, “I’ll get you that stuffed animal,” she said while other wide-eyed kids walked by. “I’ll get you that stuffed animal right now, if you forget about the real puppy.”

This was a huge dilemma for me. I was 9. Do you know the type of impact life-size stuffed animals have on little girls? But I wasn’t going to fall for my mother’s trick. I wanted my Lab and I wanted her bad.

Harpo was a part of my family for 13-years and was the best thing that ever happened to my dad (I kid you not). She passed away the year after I graduated from college and we haven’t been able to consider another pet since.

Then I moved to North Carolina and met House. While working down south as a television news reporter I was constantly covering animal abuse stories and became extremely close with the director of Beaufort County Animal Control. One day she tipped me off about a raid they had made. About 60 animals were confiscated from a residence living in horrid conditions. She was calling to give me some information about the incident but also wanted to introduce me to someone.

House, was literally a house. He came up to my waste on all fours and probably weighed as much as I did. Just like that stuffed animal, I instantly fell in love. But House was never going to fit in my house. First, I didn't even live in a house, I had an apartment. Second, I worked crazy hours. Third, there’s no way I could afford the quantity of dog food that animal was going to inhale. Fourth, his poops would be massive to clean up. Fifth, do I even need a fifth after the fourth?

So, I gave House a giant hug and walked away, cursing myself the entire time.

However, I recently spotted a House look-a-like at an outdoor music concert in downtown Deerfield, IL and tried to make friends. He wasn’t as big and didn’t have as much charm but it was good to know that when I'm ready, other houses will be on the market.