I can't stand them. I absolutely hate the fact that someone else can hear me while I'm going to the bathroom. So, over the years I've had to go to extremes to work around my complex.If I'm at home and someone is visiting me, I always leave the water running while I'm going to the bathroom. I know, it's a complete waste of H2O, but I'm crazy. I also scout out private stalls wherever I am. College was the easiest for that. While working downtown in Chicago one summer, I would literally leave my office building, walk to a hotel next door, take an escalator up to the 3rd floor and use a private restroom there...I kid you not.
You'd think that at the age of 27-years-old I'd just get over it by now. No way. If I'm going to the bathroom and someone walks in, I automatically get stage freight and have to wait until they leave. It's a painful process. I'm also the girl in the stall next to you that starts to laugh when someone farts. It's a horrible quality of mine.
These flaws are why I'm absolutely ecstatic about my new job. There's a private bathroom! I can do my business and not have to worry one bit about it.
The catch...I have absolutely no problem going to the bathroom around members of my immediate family (including mom, dad and brother). I'll leave the door WIDE open, chit chatting away, while I'm using the lou. It's a sick problem. Everyone else is a nightmare.
If you're still willing to be my friend after reading this, thank you. I just had to flush it all out there.
Natalie,
ReplyDeleteFirst, let me say that you are still a trip and I love reading your antidotes. Second, I have to say that you scare me. Fifth, I think you will appreciate this story. Please do not ask me about the 3rd and 4th. I forgot the 3rd and 4th when I saw your pose at the urinal.
I served in the Army for three years in West Germany. Yes, I said West Germany, and no, I am not thaaaat old. It was in the late 1980's.
My best friend, let's call him Eric (his real name), asked me to stay the night at the house where he was house sitting for the family dog. It was a Friday night and the residents were not due home until Monday.
It was midnight on Friday night or if you prefer early Saturday morning when Mother Nature called me.
Let's just say Mother Nature asked me to sit down for a few minutes if you catch my drift.....
A couple of minutes after I sat down, what to my wondering eyes should appear but Mom, let's call her Charlotte (her real name)who had come home early.
Was Charlotte embarassed?, I think not. She talked to me (yes I was still seated on the toilet)for about 5 minutes.
Come on people, I was in no position (get the pun????) to end the conversation or end the reason that I went into the bathroom for in the first place.
Let me end by saying that I became great friends with Charlotte and her husband and it made my time in Boeblingen, West Germany a period in my life that I will never forget.
Take care and keep your weirdness(I mean stories)coming,
Steve
Greenville. NC
Steve, I absolutely loved your comment. I feel like eveyone has a nightmare toilet story to share and I'm happy that I can provide that venue. I hope more people open up about their tragic but mostly hysterical experiences.
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