Flirting at the Psoriasis Clinic

I’ve had psoriasis my entire life. It’s not the worst case you’ve ever seen but is mostly enflamed around joints like my elbows, knees and ankles.

It’s something I’ve come to live with but constantly try and get rid of too.

I recently started going to the Mavena Clinic in Arlington Heights. It’s supposed to be one of the best treatment facilities in the world and since I’ve tried just about everything else, I thought it was worth a shot.

It’s basically a two-step process. I take a salt-water bath for 15 minutes and then am exposed to about a minute of UVB rays in a tanning bed. Showering before and after the cleanses.

It sounds relaxing at first but I’m supposed to do this at least twice a week for who knows how long and have come to pretty much dread my visits.

There usually isn’t anyone else at the clinic when I’m there, so I’ll admit I’m pretty lax when it comes to my physical appearance before and after the treatments.

But Monday was different.

After showering for the second time, I realized I forgot a brush so just combed through my knotted hair with my fingers and threw it up in a makeshift ponytail. I also just got a facial so my skin is still a little…how do I say this…fragile…and extremely blotchy. Therefore, I ditched any sort of makeup for a bit of lotion instead.

To be completely honest, I also forgot deodorant but decided my sweat-shirt and sweat-pants would fill the void. I jumped into my winter boots and headed for the door.

Unfortunately the nurse who usually checks me out in a timely fashion was dealing with another patient. I’m not exactly sure what type of treatment he’s signed up for but DAMN did he look way better than me.

Slick backed hair, radiant skin and a smile plastered across his face; I knew exactly what was going to happen next. It didn’t take this guy (who by the way was accompanied by his son) more then 60-seconds to start in with the 60-questions…but I did notice he wasn't wearing a ring (funny how I pick up on things like that now).

I’ve actually got a history of meeting people in interesting places. It’s like the big man upstairs gets a hardy laugh about my peculiar introductions.

“So how long have you been coming here?” psoriasis man asked.

“Since my last outbreak,” I thought about answering but instead replied, “a couple of weeks.”

“I swear by the treatment,” he added. “I’ve cleared up 100%. Sometimes I just want to run around naked because I feel so good about myself.” I’m not kidding, he actually said naked within the first two minutes.

I looked towards the nurse for some backup but she was trying to focus on everything but our conversation. That’s when I realized I was alone on this one.

Standing there soaking wet, still covered in salt residue, watching him comb every exposed body part of mine for a sign of my skin disease I tried to carry on a normal conversation.

God help this poor guy’s son who obviously wanted to be anywhere else than the waiting room at his father’s psoriasis clinic. So after he handed me his card and said to call him if I had any questions about the treatments I politely turned towards the front desk to make my next appointment.

“Dad, the lotion,” the little boy quietly whispered to his father about the $75 bottle he had forgotten on the counter during his conversation with me. “I don’t know what I would do without this guy,” he replied.

I called my mom later that day to tell her about my run in at the psoriasis clinic and do you know what my dad chimed in with? "At least you already have something in common."