Traffic School Nightmare

I got a speeding ticket about a month ago in Evanston. I was going 45 mph in a 30 mph zone. Who actually goes 30 mph? I might as well not even be driving. The police officer who pulled me over was not charmed by my antics at all. He could care less about my excuses. He’d caught me and I was going to have to pay up. I happen to still have a Michigan driver’s license, which posed another problem. Because of that, Officer Butt Face said he was going to have to confiscate my license and take me into the station. What? That’s when the water fall started. Check my record, I pleaded. I’m totally clean (I hoped). He cut me a little slack and let me drive away with my Michigan license and a whopping $175 ticket. Ouch. Plus, I had to take a four-hour traffic safety class online. So, it’s Friday night and that’s exactly what I’m doing. Of course I waited to the very last day and minute to complete it. My deadline is tonight (9/21) at midnight. I’m about three-hours in and have sworn to never speed again simply to never have to take this class over. Painful is an understatement. It’s scripted by this monotone woman who reads the speed of a 3rd grader. I have to sit and wait and wait and wait for her to finish reading each sentence before my little continue button lights up and lets me move forward. They’ve perfected this thing. No one is walking away, doing dishes, or chatting on the phone if they want to complete the course in a timely fashion…or the minimum four-hours it’s going to take me. Now that I've finished my rant---on a more positive note---I have been suprised by some funky statistics and apparently some rules of the road have changed since I took drivers ed class about 12-years-ago. I apologize to all those I've put in danger while speeding and I also apologize to Officer Butt Face, I realize you were just doing your job and trying to keep drivers like me from actually hurting anyone else. No harsh feelings I hope.

What's Not to Like About this License Plate?

This weekend I saw Magic Mike in a movie theatre in Michigan City, Indiana. While I give the actual movie a C+, I award the audience an A+. The movie was about a male strip club in Tampa, FL. The crowd was predominantly female. It appeared that the first two-rows of the audience were part of a group. Upon entering the theater, one woman yelled, “Let’s do this BITCHES!” When the first man walked into the theater, that same woman stood up and shouted, “Let’s see your moves!” Everyone else cheered, while he and his girlfriend squealed to the back of the theatre. I obviously came to love this woman. I was less interested in the plot and more interested in the raunchy dance moves. So was the audience. Some onlookers were using their iPhones to take pictures of the screen. I personally think the movie should have focused more on the provocative routines than a lame love story. But I understand that even strippers need love to. My suggestion is wait until it’s out on DVD, but if you are itching to watch it now, definitely make sure it’s at AMC Showplace Michigan City 14.

Last night I stopped by my parent’s house around 10 p.m. and found my 58-year-old mother sitting on the couch---under a blanket---watching “The Top 20 Music Video Countdown” on Fusion. I looked at her and asked, “Mom, what are you watching?” She responded, “The Countdown Nat.” I replied, “Why” and she said, “It’s pretty good.” I went to the bathroom, came back and she was still watching. That’s when I decided to change the channel to HBO and we both proceeded to cry for 45-minutes straight watching ‘One Day’ with Anne Athaway.  

Why Do Woman Do This To Each Other?

How much does physical appearance, specifically weight, influence women’s first impressions of each other? That was a new study conducted by a Yale market researcher and backed by Glamour Magazine. The conclusion, “All women are now judged by their size.”

The poll asked 1800 women (18-40) to envision a female stranger who was either “overweight” or “thin,” then choose one of a pair of words to describe her. The results showed that the participants were WAY more likely to call an overweight woman slow, undisciplined, sloppy and lazy compared to a thin woman. When envisioning a thin woman, those polled were WAY more likely to characterize her as bitchy, mean, controlling, vain, self-centered, conceited and superficial compared to an overweight woman. The study also concluded that “overweight” woman are more likely to characterize other “overweight” woman as slow, undisciplined, sloppy (blah blah) and vice versa with thin woman. Basically, everyone is doing it all the time and it doesn't matter if you're skinny or fat. (Thank you Huffington Post for providing this background information).

Let me remind you that participants knew absolutely nothing about these women except their weight. That made me think. Why are woman so hard on each other; especially when it comes to weight? Why do we find the need to judge others so harshly based on appearance? Is it a defense mechanism when we feel threatened? Or are we just more programed than men to be shallow? Recently, I’ve caught myself judging someone before I’ve heard a single word come out of their mouths…shame on me. Since I would never want someone to judge me on the size of my jeans or for that matter, the designer of my purse, I’ve been trying to work on this.

While Glamour’s got its conclusion, I’m coming up with my own. There’s always going to be someone out there who is prettier, smarter, wealthier, funnier and definitely skinnier than me. Instead of being critical, why not embrace others for who they are and hope they do the same to me. If I actually get to know someone and it turns out I don’t like who they are, then that’s a completely different story.

I just went to the bathroom and the toilet flushed for a really long time and I enjoyed watching it. Does that make me totally insane?

My Monday Mistake

Before you get frustrated with the kiosk assistant because the automated computer can’t find your flight itinerary, demand immediate attention from a random airline employee because you don’t want to wait in the bag check line for further assistance, and actually curse at another check-in woman because she too can’t find your flight information---even though you’ve provided a confirmation number---just make sure that you’re trying to check into the right airlines (In this specific case I was booked on United not American). Sorry about all that. Lesson definitely learned.